Expectations can destroy or enhance you.
They are contextual, so depending on your situation will decide whether the expectations are reasonable and healthy or harmful.
In this blog, I look at the harmful side of expectations and discuss ways to achieve a positive outcome.
Expectations can destroy marriages, families, and relationships. Expectations can destroy happiness and dreams.
In business, expectations can destroy your drive and the drive you have to succeed.
Expectations can destroy you because it’s about you and your belief system, no one elses
As defined online: A expectation is a strong belief that something will happen or be in the case of the future. It’s a belief that someone will or should do something.
It’s human nature to place expectations on others and ourselves. For some, we haven’t come to the realization of the effects they cause. We may think that we are helping where in fact it can be the opposite.
Our expectations and the way we think are viewed through our own eyes and the way we see the world.
An expectation that is put on someone doesn’t mean it is in line with the way they think. As a result, they will either become inspired and take action; or discouraged and not take action (if they do take action the possibility of failure is quite high).
And if you want we can go deeper about how our belief systems form or the reasons why we believe what we believe – that is a subject for another blog.
Expectations Can Destroy Your Life
From the time we are born we have expectations – go to school, learn, listen, play sports, have friends, clean our rooms, do the dishes, take out the garbage, graduate, do more school, get married, have a family, you name it.
What happens when the expectations are not met? What thoughts are going through your head? Do you celebrate or feel bad? Maybe you feel like a failure and become resentful? Do you start to believe that you have limitations on what you can do?
Or, do you have a system in place that allows you to deal with it? Like a growth mindset. When something doesn’t work, you learn from it and move forward.
It becomes a cycle in which as we get older we start putting expectations on ourselves and others around us.
Although expectations can be a good thing, it’s all about how we look at it.
One thing I’ve noticed about marriages. That woman get mad at their husbands, not because they did something wrong, it’s because it’s what they didn’t do. Again it comes down to expectations.
Expectations About Yourself In Business
You start a business
You start a business with the expectations that you will build it and in a couple of years, you will have employees, making money and enjoying the fruits of your labor. Two years go by, and not much has changed. In your mind, you say to yourself, just a little longer all I have to do is ……. and do ……. ! A couple of more years goes by and again nothing has changed.
So you go for help or throw the towel in. What will you be thinking when you throw the towel in, close the business then go work for someone? “Business is too hard”; “you can’t trust people”; “business is not for me”; “the timing was wrong”, etc.
You now have a new belief system (limiting) since your expectations have not been met. On one hand, if you had no expectations how would you have set goals to build your business? There would be nothing to look forward to. On the other hand, if the expectations are unreasonable then you may not achieve them.
When you create expectations maybe you should include one that deals with challenges, especially those you created from your expectations. In other words, “set yourself up for success”. Here’s a great expectation -“go for help” when you need it. Great expectation to have. Could you imagine that if everyone had this expectation how much better things would be?
You get into sales
You have expectations that you are going to make lots of sales and make good money. Then reality sets in and you realize that there is a lot of rejection and it’s much more difficult than you thought.
You become disengaged, negative. you expected it would be a walk in a park.
When you have the expectation that different issues may come up. you will be mentally prepared and not get discouraged.
Example: You can say to yourself that the possibilities of resistance and rejection could happen. Just knowing this removes any expectations of everything just being peachy. There is the disappointment because you knew what to expect in the first place should it happen.
So, just smile, shrug it off and on to the next.
Pause
Pause for a moment when you feel pressure or stress due to an “expectation”. Do some self-talk. Think about what the expectation is about. Then ask yourself, “does it really matter”. Then decide which way to go.
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